May 2012
50 posts
in light of that announcement
i’m just sad. bittersweetness abounds. i could if i would; but i can’t, so i won’t.
April 2012
39 posts
LOL
i should find a new default banquet dress after today -_______-
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it's amazing
i’m (co-)standing on 36 years of performative cultural history, heading into our 37th year. more than that, i’m part of the 44th core of an organization whose roots extend further than what we truly are able to grasp or perceive at first sight.
i’m excited to go through all of it, even the struggle. if there’s one thing this year has truly taught me, it’s that...
honestly
no one can ever tell you what came from your heart was bad. people know the difference between the absence and the presence of it, whether it’s an indefinable feeling, or an obvious truth.
bureaucracy is irritating.
why have both a hard copy AND an electronic application, but only admit to consulting the electronic application (even though the website was unable to upload some of the required forms, but we have PROOF we turned them in via the hard copy)?
don’t ask for something if you aren’t going to fucking use it.
i feel really off-balance right now.
culmination of factors. need to talk to you. open the lines of communication.
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a thought
[[MORE]]I wish we had more time to really tell the community about our idea, that we got more abstains so that we could further talk about it. Honestly, we could have spent a whole hour talking about it and the plans we have for it. This isn’t just something we came up with in a week. This is something we have been preparing for and dialoguing about since I was a freshman, since we were part...
How relevant →
mmmthatmbeth:
drevilla:
”With affirmative action outlawed, Asian American students have dominated admissions. The freshman class admitted to UC Berkeley this coming fall is 30 percent white and 46 percent Asian, according to newly released data.”
‘Well, when Pilipin@s were removed from full… affirmative action protection in 1986, our admissions rates fell by 90%. Desegregate that “Asian...
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“when individually you cannot, collectively you can.”
– Dexter Ligot-Gordon
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think now, comment later
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nervously excited or excitedly nervous?
because past my fingertips, i extend a beating heart and it soaks into every bit of work i do. i’m ready. we’re ready. please believe me. please please please believe in us.
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boba-addicted paamily
Ading: Ate Lisa and I sneaked boba into Zellerbach.
me: Haha. Ate Lisa and I sneaked boba into MMBC when I was a freshman [y'know before i realized they probably didn't really pay attention/care]
my head hurts
I need to make a decision fair to myself and my personal retention.
I need to sleep on it.
entering a new phase of positivity
what’s done is done, and though i still need to collect my thoughts, i hope that onto the next phase, everything works out for the best.
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shut the fuck up.
you have no clue what you’re talking about.
not gonna lie.
i’m kinda scared i somehow won’t be good enough.
If I had the option, I would not take back my experiences in this entire process. It taught me a lot about the hardest parts of leading, and just how much resilience I have, and how much I had to rely on others to hold me up when I thought I was legitimately falling down. So many times I could have just given up. I was so close to shutting down because of how much people kept pushing and pushing...
ultimately, the good outweighs the bad.
final conclusion.
the ones who condensed a process into a week....
Pami: I was sitting here at my laptop and yelping places to eat. so much pressure...don't wanna accidentally choose a really crappy place.
Razel: "so much pressure" ... interesting you'd say that about choosing a place to eat, after what we pulled yesterday on stage in a $36,000 production
me: pami's perception of pressure is quite different from many others
Alan: lol. spend two days writing a script for a $36k show: it's okay. pick a place to eat in 12 hours: OMFG WTF DO I DO!
a bitter pill to swallow
because the more i think about it, the more upset i get. i dragged my heart bloody to make it all work out in the end. you’ll never understand what you put me through to get us there.
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“Hey, your initials, MA, and my initials, JC - together, they make MAJC!...”
– (via feendish-notions)
she needs to stop being so in love with me. lawl
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notes on legacy
scartact:
During Heads Retreat, someone, probably the eternally eloquent Badrias, said that what we were doing as Heads was leaving a legacy by taking on our given positions. Someone out there was going to remember the work we were doing and just like they did when we were watching PCN 2008: Awaken Movement, our names would be revived in that very instant. We would be examples today for leaders...
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The Heart
The first movement is the heart.
Every step I have taken for this show was out of a great love for the process, the community, and the people involved. Understand that everything I do is not without motivation, that even though this is only my second time doing PCN, I have put myself in the hardest position you can possibly put yourself in, all in the name of being that one person you can always...
commitment.
kuya is right; people don’t understand the meaning of commitment.
instead of a negative post, i’ll just say that in spite of it all, i value those who are able to meet those commitments fully. these are the people you can really trust and rely on to support you and your endeavors. these are the people who truly care.
there’s just no fucking point if you join everything, but...
i feel.. like i personally failed people. but onward to the next task. no time for guilt; i’ll just pick up and continue on, because i hope that my example of supposed strength (whatever that is) is enough to inspire people to action and movement.
I don’t call very many people in Berkeley “kuya,” but I am forever grateful for the ones i do because they have constantly challenged me to think critically in many different ways about so many different things. The depth of their knowledge is amazing. And what they give me is better than anything else I could ever ask for.
i'm glad i wasn't part of it.
i have more to say about this, but i won’t say it in a non-safe space
i'm drained
but I keep working because I ask myself, “If I don’t do it, who will?”
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today is a good pcn day because...
we got our sound amplification requests approved for p-week
we have a space for saturday’s (4/14) rehearsal
our newest and absolutely finalized event manager is back in the office, and we are scheduled to meet with her and the head electrician on april 6
i finished my p-week agenda and now that it’s out, a huge weight has been lifted
our tickets have been printed and will be...
dumping ground
finished up a half-assed reading response paper based off of ~18/63 pages of reading i was supposed to do for class tomorrow. :/
need to email our event manager to set up a meeting with stage, the master electrician, and producers on thurs of fri
need to finish p-week schedule
need to finalize prompt book
my head is mildly throbbing
paa elections are the week after pcn. one week of prep
my...
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we gonna do it big.
trust. :)
hella excited.
but in the meanwhile, focus on the present and now. focusing on kicking ass and taking names.
honestly,
i have never worked as hard as i am working now to uphold each and every responsibility i have. i am exhausted. i am at the final stretch of my work with {m}aganda, debating what exactly i want to do for staff next year, and if i will even have the time for it. i am at the hardest point of pcn, where now everything HAS to come together because there simply just isn’t the luxury of time to...
i am already overwhelmed with the amount of work i need to do. oh spring break, you were so, so good to me; yet so, so awful. can’t i just skip to the part where i remember why all this hard work is completely and absolutely worth it? i would like to do that now.
this is a little random...
but {m}aganda Magazine is on the ballot for best campus publication for Daily Cal’s Best of Berkeley 2012. It would be incredibly awesome if you could affirm our hard work and our historical roots by voting for us. :) We would love you foreverrrr.
http://bestofberkeley.dailycal.org/best-of-berkeley-2012/
but seriously, i sincerely love and adore {m}, so it would be awesome for our hard...
